King Me

There is a time and place for strength, and there is a time and place for violence. But neither was ever meant to be used against the village. There was a time when black people lived together to protect, to build, and to preserve life. Somewhere along the way, our strength became a tool to destroy each other. For Black boys, our intelligence took third place, with physical abilities and obedient manners taking first and second place, respectively. Even today, we praise the athletes we see on TV over doctors, lawyers, and even engineers. There is nothing wrong with athletics—they teach discipline, teamwork, and resilience. But when athletic achievement is elevated above intellectual, moral, and civic leadership, a dangerous message is sent: your body is more valuable than your mind. Cerebral leadership became rare because it was targeted, undermined, or erased.

GANG GANG

Enter gang culture—first created to protect and govern the communities in which they lived—but access to drugs and guns quickly turned these factions against each other. Gangs gave young men a way to feel powerful in a world that blocked them from opportunity. Daily affirmations based on how much money you made selling drugs or how many rival gang members you killed became the norm. When schools failed and demeaned young Black males, gangs offered structure and belonging. Mental health research shows that when boys are taught to suppress emotion and prioritize dominance, distress does not disappear—it mutates. Depression becomes aggression. Fear becomes recklessness. Pain becomes violence against those closest to you. What a price to pay when inward violence becomes the toll. When strength loses its purpose, there is no more dangerous person on this earth than a Black boy who does not know his worth. He becomes an enemy to his village and a useful tool to an oppressive system.

Chastity

As young men, behaviors that should have raised concern were often normalized or celebrated. Courting multiple women, early sexual experiences, and even underage sex were treated as rites of passage instead of moments requiring guidance and protection. Even women perceived a virgin man as less valuable or “no fun.” Black/African American youth show higher rates of early sexual initiation than White peers. To be fair, this number is declining, but the truth remains—we were late to the game. In many traditional African cultures, elders taught that unrestrained desire weakened men and destabilized families. Black boys need to know that their virginity is not something they have to get rid of. They need to know that their bodies are just as precious as their female counterparts, and that their worth is not measured by how many women they sleep with.

Show Them Who You Are

History shows us that Black leadership has always been dangerous because it threatens systems of control. A Black man who knows his worth, his culture, and his history is not easily manipulated into self-destruction. The assassinations of leaders like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Fred Hampton, and Medgar Evers were psychological attacks. They sent a message: intelligent leadership would not be tolerated. So we hide our genius to fit into what keeps us alive. But the future of Black communities depends not just on strong bodies, but on strong minds. It must honor the strength that thinks before it strikes—fearless fighters standing side by side with thoughtful leaders. Redefining self-worth for Black boys is not about removing toughness; it is about giving it direction.

Black Boy Fly

There is strength in protecting your community. There is power in understanding your emotions. There is masculinity in building from the ground up. Mental health awareness is essential because healing gives black boys the language to be proud of their intelligence first and their physical abilities second. It also teaches restraint and pride in their sexual nature. Self-worth is not about gang status or sexual “missions.” We must set the bar higher than athletic achievement and crown the next generation of leaders more appropriately. Protect the village by protecting the young kings within them.

P. Phelps