Coping >>>

“To live is to suffer, but to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” — DMX

First off, I want to congratulate the black and Hispanic communities as a whole. Before I can even get into what coping means, let’s be real — a lot of us have been doing it our whole lives without ever naming it. Death in the family, we tell each other to be strong. Feeling like nothing is going your way, and you might hear someone suggest that you pray on it or give it to God. For generations, our people have carried pain without the language, therapy, or safe spaces to unpack it. We didn’t refer to it as mental health. We just called it life. But what is coping? Coping is the way we respond to stress, pain, and trauma when we feel like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. It requires a bit of finesse and style to “hold it down” so that you do not look like what you’ve been going through. But the question for today isn’t if we’re coping. The real question is: Are we coping in ways that will really put an end to unhealthy cycles of self-destruction. 

My Inner Could Be My Inner Me.

What most of us do is mistake coping with pain with running away from it. Avoiding pain can feel like safety because you can feel like you are in control. Truthfully, without facing your trauma, it could end up breaking you in the long run because avoiding it is a temporary escape, not a solution. Some ways we avoid ur own  mental health can be through drugs, alcohol, social media, and even trauma bonded relationships. We are pretending that something did not happen because it hurts too much to accept it.  You can try to burying the pain, and you will be successful, but you only teach yourself to hide, suffering in silence. 

Six…Seven...

Coping isn’t a weakness, it’s a talent. It’s starting the day with 15 cents in your pocket and managing a way to make a $1. You do not deny your reality; you put a name on it because you have to find a way to remove the way it makes you feel. Maybe you pray on it or maybe you talk it over with someone you trust, but you can’t be ashamed of your pain. Running/avoiding what you feel cannot be an option because you have to get through the mess in order for you to get to the message. 

But be mindful! Not all coping helps you heal. Some coping becomes another form of running. That includes isolating yourself from supportive

relationships, self-medicating (popping pills), and toxic relationships (trauma bonding or sex without connection). These options would appear to help some people survive or escape, but only for short period. True coping should create space to heal, not build walls around the pain.

Your Choice

We all face pain. We can avoid it and carry those burdens silence. OR! We can cope with it and become creative in our ways to weather the storm. Sometimes war is the only path to peace. That includes the war we are fighting inside ourselves.

“To live is to suffer, but to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.” Some of us are finding meaning now.

Some of us just started learning how.  But every one of us has the power to choose healing over hiding.