Short Fuse

Photo By Wendelin Jacober

I thinks it’s important that we all make a note to learn what makes us react emotionally. Similar to a pet peeve, an emotional trigger is event or a set of events that causes an individual to react and it has a direct affect on our environment. For example, a conversation about death could cause someone to feel depressed. Or experiencing financial hardship would be the reason a person displays anxiety and shows signs of irritability. Most of our actions are just reactions to what’s happening around us and placing a stern focus on what emotionally triggers using a very import step in our education on mental health.

Types Of Triggers

External triggers:

These occur due to an outside source that we sometimes have little control over. Like being at a party and your ex has also made an appearance or a waiter bringing you your food with onion, but you requested the onions be removed because you are allergic.

Internal triggers:

Thoughts and emotions sum up what the internal triggers consist of. The interesting thing about this class of gear grinders is that POSITIVE and NEGATIVE emotions are in play. For example anxiety, loneliness, happiness, and even confidence are all private events that could lead to an individual relapsing on a drug addiction.

Trauma triggers:

Private events (mental and emotional) with historical significance are trauma triggers. When you have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), your symptoms can come and go. Takes at least one month after a traumatic event for someone to be diagnosed with PTSD, but if not treated, an unsupported person could develop physical illnesses.

From my own experience, I became triggered when I shared the room with someone who had been experiencing a mental crisis themselves. As helpful as I tried to be and offer help, the individual resisted all of my efforts. Days after the encounter I continued to think about my own crisis events (4 years since last hospitalization) and the lives I affected. Resentment, disgust, distrust, and sadness took over me and my reality began to bend. I know no that mental crisis events for others are triggering for me and assisting others rebound could have a negative effect on me if Im not careful.

No Therapy, No Problem

Truth is, identifying your own triggers maybe easier than you think. I, for one, did not take in to account how damaging my triggers can be for me and my family until I began therapy. However, the best resource for your triggers is you and if you need more help with management, then I highly suggest finding a professional with experience in the areas you want to improve in. Here are some tips to properly handling your triggers.

1. Self Evaluate

Refusing to seek professional help forces us to become our own doctors and self assess ourselves very carefully. This may seem easy, but we have to be fair minded in our efforts because we could lose out on important details. Not being accountable for our own actions, feelings, and thoughts that led a trigger event to a crisis situation, could result in us blaming others when we (the person who was triggered) are in fact the ones who should take responsibility.

2. Step back

For example, you could be driving to work while also engaging in an intense disagreement with your spouse about who lost the remote, via text message. Before you know it you rear end someone and your both on the side of the road exchanging insurance information (or you are calling the cops because someone hit you and fled the scene). Yes, you don’t like to be blamed for things you did not do and you really don’t like when someone yells at you, but now the car accident is definitely your fault and another spousal feud is soon to come. Count to ten, count from ten, take deep breathes, etc.,. Find a method that works for you, so that your decision making keeps you safe and in a calm space.

3. Do Not Run

Accept that you are human because emotions are not computer errors. We can’t shut down, we have to see the forest for the trees. Share your feelings with the person that has triggered you if this is possible. Give them background information if that could help them understand that being accused reminds you of a time when you lived in a group home as a teenager. I’ll be honest and share that I have spoken aloud to myself to warn myself of internal triggers due to PTSD. Hearing my challenges out loud helps me minimize the mental torture I have put myself through when I would have an anxiety attack. Sweeping these feelings under a rug creates a bigger dirt pile and eventually you will not be able to hide it from the rest of the world.

4. Live, Learn, and Live Some More

If we do not learn what our triggers are we become victims of a self inflicted demise. Relationships, career paths, and daily routines are all shaped by how we manage the emotions that make us uncomfortable. Communicate your triggering events with others and listen to the triggers of the people you come across in life. Yes its difficult, but it the end results, hopefully, are clarity and peace. Be patient and understand that the real prize is won in the process.

Peace and Blessings

Patrick Phelps